WHINE WHINE WHINE without the CHEESE!

I will admit I am PMSing right now. It's the time where I am a negative "Nelly" (doug's nickname he has given me) and just not a nice person to be around. I feel so bad for my kids and husband during this time. I was completely a wicked witch yesterday. By the end of the day I felt so guilty looking back as to how I treated my own sweet family. But, seriously sometimes Luke just knows what to do to push my buttons!! The Gordon girls were over playing nicely. (A huge bonus to me because I was able to make jam). Anyways, Luke decided to go in and disturb Jared and Maci playing legos. He not only destroyed what they were making, but proceeded to throw legos around the room like it was raining or something. And of course I went in to see what all the ruckus was and he just gave me a huge grin with those dimples!! That was the straw that broke the camels back. I was sooooooo angry when he did that. Later that evening when I told Doug about it. He kind of chuckled and said, "thats what kids do" By then it was kind of funny, but boy I was boiling at the time he did it.

Lets just say if I were trapped in a desert, on a beach or some sort of island...... I truely don't think I would survive. Sadly, I have come to realize that I rely on modern things to get me through each day. Especially since I have had children. Don't get me wrong I love my children dearly and wouldn't change anything about any of them. However, it sure is nice to have the convience of x-box, television, computers, cell-phones, water parks, dvd players..well you get the picture. The question I have is what did we do without these modern things? It was only about 6 years ago when they started getting cell phones. Crazy!!

We decided (Angie & I) at the last minute to take the kids to the water park to kill some much needed time. I was bummed when the girl who cuts my hair cancelled my 12pm appointment. I figured she might because she was moving tomorrow. Shesz can you believe she did such a thing? I figured what the heck since I didn't have anything going today after the cancellation and all. Remember I am in survival mode for the next two weeks. So the more plans I have to keep the kids entertained the better. Thank goodness for Angie and her kids down the street! So we loaded up the 7 kids, with packed lunches, sunscreen, and strollers and we went to Fiesta Texas.


I almost feel as though I have been living in a "pretend fantasy" world over the past month. I have been traveling like crazy and having so much fun. When we were in California at the condo I really didn't want to leave. I wanted to stay longer and soak up the sun, eat out, and just hang with family. I guess I am partially feeling a little resentment over living the "student" life for so long. It has become increasingly frustrating to me that our student loans are much more than a mortgage and cars combined. I'll spare you the personal details with all of our other dreadful I owe yous.... I am ready for the "real" world and ready for annual family vacations, being with family, and my kids to be settled into a place they can call "home" until they move out for college. To be in an established ward and not have so many "move ins and outs" Maybe part of me feels this way because when I went to Utah to visit Steph I saw what life could be like when we are done. I guess the bottom line is I have hit the burnout mark of residency. I have supported and continue to support my husbands choice of career. I am so glad that he has found a career that he loves. I think it is so important to love what you do. And I wouldn't change the people we have met over the time doing it for anything. We have made so many wonderful friends and lived in great places. I also don't think I would be where I am as a person if I didn't get to experience these things in my life. Okay I feel a bit better that I have vented some of my frustration. After all thats what blogs are for right?